Home schoolers? What are ya, Hippies?

I decided I wanted to write about homeschooling because I've noticed there are a lot of misconceptions surrounding the whole idea.  Plus my old friend is moving to the area and had said she wanted to home school and in trying to explain to her what we did, I realized that I really don't have that firm of a grasp on the concept either... which is seriously inexcusable.

"Try explaining a math concept for the umpteenth time while the toddler is screaming in your left ear 'APPOO APPOO APPOO APPOO!' at the top of her lungs because she wants you to draw an apple on a piece of paper so she can color it"  - Partner #2.

This is a bad day.

Typically, a school day goes relatively smoothly. Yes, the baby is always there demanding something, but we have been working out ways to keep her engaged for the length of her attention span. We have devised all sorts of ways to make school work for us! That is the beauty of homeschooling. You work on your schedule. You work around your kids individual needs and strengths. After all, who knows your kids best?!

In public school, your kid is lumped in with 30 other kids and they cease to be an individual.Everyone expected to do the same things, at the same pace, to the same degree of quality, and then they are judged in the end and told whether they conformed well enough or not. Granted that is a pretty cynical view of public school, it was definitely my experience, but sometimes public school works well for some kids. Sometimes the way that particular teacher teaches works for that kid and they do great.

Think about it this way, a teacher is in class with the kids from 8:30 until 2:00, roughly. There are two 15 minute breaks (recess), and one 1 hour break (lunch time). That is a total of 4 hours of actual in-class time. Now divide that by 30 kids. That means that if the teacher were able to divide each day to give each kid some individual one-on-one time, each kid would get 8 minutes.... 8 minutes!! Now, what about if little Suzy is struggling in math, but Teacher is only able to give her her 8 minutes during English time, then what?

Again, this is a very simplistic, and yes cynical, outline of a typical elementary school day. I don't take into account TA's or other help that is sometimes provided. Nor do I take into account tutors that you can hire, or I suppose the homework time your kids are supposed to be doing after school. But it's not a wrong assessment....

And that is just the logistics around time and resource constraints. What about the institute itself? When else in a person's adult life will they be thrown into a room of people whose only thing in common is the fact that they are the same age, and then be told they have to be friends and get along with everyone? Imagine being told "Hey I know of a guy, Jimmy, who is your age! You guys will be best friends!".... Are we not supposed to be preparing our kids for real life? That is a big thing with people when they hear you are home schoolers, "I hope you have them in a lot of extra curriculars. Socializing with their peers is SOOO important!"

No. Its not.

Socializing, yes. With their peers, no. Chatting up the cashier at the grocery store is socializing. Hanging out with their cousins is socializing.  Going horseback riding with the teenager girl down the road is socializing. Learning how to milk a cow with the neighbor is socializing. Just because you are the same age as someone, doesn't mean you have anything in common with that person.

From day 1, you are entrusted to teach your child everything, all the very basic fundamental things your child is going to need to know in life: walking, eating, manners, values, how to use a toilet, religion/spirituality, responsibility, basic hygiene etc. All the really really important stuff. Then all of a sudden our kids hit 5 or 6 years old and we are no longer qualified to teach them anymore?

It comes down to this, you know your kids the best. You know where their strengths are, you know in what areas they struggle. As adults, if we are struggling with something, we generally don't want a room full of witnesses and someone who is being paid to get you through it helping you. Who better to guide your kid through the tough stuff then his or her own trusted loving parent?

I suppose I should stop here and say three things: 1) I absolutely understand that this is simply not an option for every parent. Nor am I saying that every parent should do it! This is not a 'conversion' blog post. I suppose I am just trying to explain my reasoning in choosing this path for my child.  2) I am new to this! And I am not even the parent who is actually doing the teaching! For the past 13 months I have been the peripheral home school parent, who works in the other room while Partner #2 teaches the kids. I am in no way an expert. 3) Partner #1's mother is a veteran school teacher, so we also benefit from the knowledge and experience of someone who has been doing this a long time, and who also happens to be personally invested in our kids.

A typical school day for us generally looks like this:
6:30 - Silas is up earliest and works best without distraction, so he gets his hardest subject, Math, out of the way at this time.
7:00 - The rest of the kids are up, they have breakfast, do their chores, and Oliver does his Kindergarten stuff.
8:00 - Coffee break, when all the kids go down to the play room for an hour so the parents can enjoy their coffee and touch base before the day really begins.
9:00 - Isabella gets her individual time, while the other kids work on the iPads, practice piano or French.
10:00 - Snack time. Often the kids listen to a story on audio book, because they are total geeks.
10:30 - Group work like Science and History that all the kids are learning congruently.
11:30 - Silas' individual time.
12:30 - Lunch. Then all the kids get kicked outside while the baby naps.

In the afternoon, the kids get reading time with some science and history, whatever didn't get done during the morning group work.

Everyone gets their individual one-on-one time, and everyone learns to participate in a group setting.

Between the three of us adults we have devised a schedule pretty much for managing the baby. In the early morning, Partner #1 is responsible for fielding baby's demands. Then it falls to Partner #2 for a few hours. And then I take a break from work to watch baby starting at 11:45 until nap time around 1:00. Generally, it works well.

What I love is the flexibility. If things are going really well, you can get a little extra done. If you know that this portion is far too easy for your kid you can move on to something more challenging. No need for your kid to slog through it with everyone else. And you can do really fun things when you only have a few kids you are teaching as opposed to 30! You can incorporate nature, and outdoors activities that are otherwise too dangerous with a class full of space-cadety 7 year olds.

If your having a bad day, you can take the day off! Or simply take an extra long coffee break to regroup. Its your schedule!

That quote at the beginning was actually from yesterday morning. Both Partner #2 and I were grumpy first thing in the morning and both of us were not looking forward to starting school/work. So we decided to try to hit the restart button on our day. We got everyone bundled up and went for a walk. It was a beautiful morning and we both know that we feel better with fresh air. It was beautiful. We took a moment for ourselves and a moment to enjoy our kids with no pressures or schedule. And after that we were able to start our day with a new mind frame, a fresh start.

Partner #2 and Oliver checking out the frozen waterfall on yesterday morning's restart walk. 

Here you could say Ollie got a unique opportunity to learn that liquids can

turn to solids even while in motion, but you know, the Kindergarten version of that....

Like I said, it is not something that everyone is able to do, or even wants to do! Now that I know what homeschooling really is, and not just some lazy excuse to not send your kids to school, I really regret that I was unable to provide this for my daughter when I was just a single parent. Her and I really struggled. She really struggled in school. I really struggled with making time for her.  I feel looking back that she really needed that. She really needed that time with me and that I needed that time with her, without having to work around my work schedule, being too tired or too busy to want to make time for her. I think, had I been able to devote my time to her and helping her thrive that she would have done really really well and the struggles we were having in our relationship would have worked themselves out. 

That's why I home school. I am here for my daughter now. I am able to provide for her in a way I never could before. 

So what if the baby is crying (again) for who knows what reason this time, or all the dogs are howling (again) because someones in heat and the boys are lamenting their blue balls? There is always tomorrow! Or maybe you want to take the opportunity to teach your kids what "in heat" means, and why the boys are frustrated about that? By the way sex education while you live on a ranch gets real interesting sometimes.....