Friday 23 October 2015

Naming Ranch Animals is a Delicate Art Form

I have this habit that I have developed since moving to the ranch of naming any animal that stands out from the herd/flock for any reason whatsoever.  Sometimes this is to my great disappointment, because as you may know, if you have read my blog long enough, things die. A lot.  Not that it's an official rule or anything, but I have amended my habit to name animals that are past their newborn phase and more into their "hey, they might actually make it" phase of life...  But even that is not guaranteed to guard my delicate heart.

Of note, recently we were at our ranch in Merritt, when I noticed a couple of stud horses that I had no idea we even had! (I don't spend much time at the Merritt ranch) And, true to form, I immediately named them.  And, also true to form, Partner #1 immediately objected.



Seeing this handsome devil, my knee jerk naming reaction was of course, Fabio.  Yes, it is a cliche, but his luscious locks are so irresistible, any other name would be a disservice.  Of course, Partner #1 immediately quashed that, saying his name was Michael.  After much banter back and forth, we (I) settled on Michael-Fabio... 


This (actually quite creepy) gentleman is named Beetlejuice for the dark ring around his blue eyes.  Very Michael Keaton. 

Among other names, we have Actual Clifford and Fake Clifford named after the town Actual Clifford came from.  Fake Clifford gets his name because Partner #2 and I thought he was Actual Clifford, and by the time we were corrected, the name had stuck.  Except now Actual Clifford is no more, rest in peace, so I suppose Fake Clifford is the only Clifford.  There can be only one...

Creepy Frank is our ubber-creepy llama.  His name is absolutely appropriate and I make no apologies. 

Stanley Ramsbottom.  Our super impressive, curly horned ram.  Credit here goes 100% to Partner #2. 

Little Orphan Lamby.  In all honesty, I am surprised this little guy is still alive.  Since he was bottle fed pretty much from day one, he often makes his way back to our front yard no matter what field the flock is in, no matter how far away, and no matter how many dogs are kicking around.  So perhaps my enthusiasm for his staying power will prove unfounded....

Gringo and Esé.  A couple of stud horses who I really can't even describe without being horribly racist...

Dolly Parton.  The credit for this one goes to Partner #1.  Trust him to name the milk cow after the biggest breasted country singer of all time....

Macro and Micro (a.k.a. Mac and Mike). Brother jersey calves we adopted to pick up some of Dolly Parton's, a-hum, excess.  When we got them, they were indistinguishable but Mike got sick and is, consequently, a lot smaller than Mac now.  Hence Macro and Micro. 

"My" horse Asher's naming is almost not even worth mentioning except for the fact that Partner #1 agreed to it readily because it can easily be changed to a certain swear word when angry... 

Now typically, naming the dogs is entirely up to Partner #1, mostly, because they are entirely his responsibility and he is the one who needs to have an easily "yellable" name to call them.  However, recently we acquired a pair of pups (internal groan) who are damn near identical and I am gunning for Foghorn and Leghorn after classic cartoon character rooster Foghorn Leghorn 

Foghorn Leghorn

It's perfect and I love it. 

At this point in time, I can't think of any others.  Come next summer I am sure I will have more.  

I think it is safe to say that life got more awesome since I came to the ranch...


Our latest family photo