Tuesday 1 December 2015

No, that's not a heart lying on the floor...


I just witnessed probably the third most disgusting thing I have ever seen in my life.  And of coarse it happened right here on the ranch.

So I am in the mudroom of our house, putting on my boots to go outside when I see what almost looks like a heart, just sitting there in the middle of the floor, all wet and slimy.  It even had tubes sticking out of it.  I even called Partner #2 downstairs to see if she could figure it out and she thought it was a heart too. Against my better judgement, I even touched it to flip it over.  A move that is at this very moment inducing my gag-reflex...

Now, let me throw a little ranch know-how at you: one of the most common methods for castrating young animals is called "banding".  That is when you put a very small elastic band around the scrotum with an almost reverse set of pliers.  Almost immediately the animal loses blood supply to the area and over time the sack shrivels up and falls off.  Except for the initial elastic placement, it is almost entirely painless for the animal.

So, yep... you guessed it.  The thing that was lying on the floor in my house was not a heart (which is bad enough), but a juicy pair of calf nuts.  And no sooner had I realized what it was, did a dog snatch it up and proceed to noisily and hastily munch on this rotting, stinking treat...

Commence scouring hands.

There has been one other occasion where I witnessed something similar, but it was a pair of fluffy little lamb nuts.  So not nearly as gag-inducing.

This was utterly disgusting.

Now our mudroom stinks like rotten testicles and our dog is happier then heck with a belly full of calf nuts...

This is my life.


3 comments:

  1. Bahahahahahahah that's awesome!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I made the mistake of reading this while eating a hot dog. Lol.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I made the mistake of reading this while eating a hot dog. Lol.

    ReplyDelete